Who Said the Customer is Always Right, Anyway?

A favorite guilt-free treat here in the City is a small cup of creamy, whipped air with artificial sweetener--Tasti D-Lite is the East Coast's answer to The Golden Spoon. I have completely succombed to the trend and find myself frequenting it a few times a week now. Tonight, however, my experience did not bring me the overwhelming joy that it usually does.

"I'd like a sugar cone with French Vanilla and topped with M&Ms," I joyously announced.

"No, I can't give you M&Ms because they will fall all over the floor," said the authoritative and surprisingly uncooperative franchise owner.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I will not sell you the M&Ms with the cone because they will fall on the floor and make a mess."

"You're joking, right? That's a joke."

"No, you cannot have M&Ms. If you want a topping, then I can put it in a cup. But, you cannot have a cone and M&Ms together."

"I can't have M&Ms and a cone together even though that's what I ordered?"

"No, would you like a cup? I will put it in a cup."

"Well, can I get the cone still? With it?"

"OK, but only this time," he reluctantly agreed.

I rolled my eyes, turned to Carrie, and said, "Only in New York can you order something and be told that you can't get what you want because it will create a mess." I then anxiously waited for my cone/cup with M&Ms, salivating at the thought of satiating my sweet tooth with minimal ass-sticking consequences.

Carrie and I stepped out onto the street. I dipped my spoon into the creamy delight to take my first bite. And, just when the spoon reached the tips of my tastebuds, I watched my cone tumble to the ground and shatter into a dozen pieces on the ground. I picked up the largest piece and asked Carrie if she thought it might be clean enough to ingest. She said "No" and, you guessed it, she wouldn't allow me to do what I wanted either . . .